Your girlfriend or boyfriend sees you talking to someone during lunch and suspects you are flirting with that person even though you aren't. They come over and start glaring or even accusing you in an angry or sarcastic tone. Or maybe they begin to flirt with someone else in front of you to try and make you jealous. Maybe they give you the "cold shoulder".
The person seems angry or distant, but what is this person really feeling? If you think about it, the person is really afraid you're not interested in them anymore or that you may want you to leave them. They're also too afraid to be honest or to admit that they're insecure. They may not even be aware of their own fear.
The bottom line is usually this: Frightened, insecure people often seek power, and sometimes they may become verbally or even physically abusive to get it. From their angry and blurry perspective, they think you're doing something to hurt them, and now they are going to get you back or put you in your place.
When somebody becomes abusive, critical or controlling, it's a strong indication they're not very happy or secure with themselves. So, it makes sense that if somebody isn't very happy or secure in a dating relationship, they're probably not very happy being alone either.
Family Life Center advocates care about you and are here to help, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you feel that you may be in an abusive relationship, or if you think you may be an abuser, please call (386)437-3505 today to speak confidentially with one of our specially trained advocates.
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